People who are not childfree do not appreciate all the subtle and insidious ways we are made to feel invisible. Even when not expressed directly, the message that adulthood equals parenthood and that parenthood is the ultimate purpose of life is so tightly woven into the fabric of society that it gets to the point that I sometimes wonder if I exist.An example:I was flipping channels the other day
Childfree
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Childfreedom
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Kid Stuff
19 Jan 2010 | 12:55 pm -
Dr. Phil (almost gave me a thrill)
15 Jan 2010 | 10:32 amOne of the regular commenters on my blog, HawkMom, kindly emailed me a few days ago to alert me that Dr. Phil was doing a show on non-traditional families, featuring a childfree-by-choice couple (thanks, HawkMom).I missed the show, but I went to Dr. Phil's website to see if there was a clip from the show.There is a brief clip, and also a short written summary in which Dr. Phil asks the couple if -
Marriage is for WHAT?
13 Jan 2010 | 6:11 amI normally don’t get political on this blog, however, yesterday I was listening to the news concerning the ongoing battle in California over gays having the right to marry, and I heard something that made my hair stand on end.First, I should say up front that I am strongly pro gay rights and believe that all consenting adults, regardless of their sexual orientation, should be able to marry -
A Pile of Parental Smugness Under the Christmas Tree
26 Dec 2009 | 1:54 pmTo those of you who celebrate, Merry Christmas (a day late)! I hope you had a joyous day as I did.We spent Christmas with my family at my parents' house (yes, my mother and I ended our estrangement and things seem to be going well so far). My entire family was there - my 2 brothers and their wives/girlfriends, their children (4), my parents and us...a total of 12 people. The presents were piled -
I'm Dreaming of a Equitable Christmas
20 Dec 2009 | 3:13 amOkay, how do I vent about this without coming across as a petty whiner who has no perspective on the true meaning of Christmas? I am not sure, but let me say up front that I am keenly aware of the true spirit of Christmas - that's it's not about materialism and consumerism. In fact, I've been the one in my family to push for cutting back on the consumerism and focus more on the non-material
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Like It Is
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So The Childfree Should Not Speak on Parental Issues? Seriously?
28 Jan 2010 | 8:03 pmIs it me or does Australia come across as more “anti-childfree” than most places in the Western world? Seems that whenever I read something touching on childfree-ness or non-parenting (or respect for either) there is something negative about it. It’s not that there isn’t negativity towards the childfree elsewhere… we aren’t yet at that particular [...] -
Childfree no more – From Dudescape to Dadscape
18 Jan 2010 | 4:14 amHere’s an interesting article for both childfree men and women… but particularly for childfree men. It’s about what happens when men become parents, told from a male point of view. Escape from Dudescape to Dadscape The comments as always are illuminating. There are some very good childfree responses and, surprise, surprise, a good many bingoes from the childed. Here is [...] -
Happy New Year – What’s Changed for the Childfree?
6 Jan 2010 | 8:06 pmHappy New Year Like It Is readers! Here’s wishing everyone a wonderful New Year. And hopefully the holiday season was safe and peaceful. The first post of 2010 has a couple of updates. But first, as we look forward to another decade and I thought of this blog post, I found myself wondering, what, if [...] -
Merry Christmas. Season’s Greetings and Happy Holidays Childfree Readers
23 Dec 2009 | 9:04 pmIt is that time of year again. Christmas, the Holidays, the end of one year, and the beginning of another. While Christmas can be a joyous time for many it can also be a time of stress for others too. I happen to love Christmas, the hustle and bustle, putting up the tree, lights, decoration, [...] -
Childfree? You Must Have SO Much Time on Your Hands!
14 Dec 2009 | 7:44 pmEver had that lobbed at you when you say you’re childfree, or that you don’t have kids? I have. Recently, after telling me how looking after her 3 kids left no time for going out and doing non-kid things such as going out for dinner, a chance acquaintance (and I use the word very loosely) [...]
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Childfree Clique
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Without Childfreedom, My Good Life Turns To Shit
30 Jan 2010 | 9:43 pmSorry for the lack of posts this month, but I was invited to start volunteering in another, more political capacity with PP and jumped at the opportunity. I've had to attend frequent meetings over the past few weeks that have left little time for much else other than quick Facebook updates.The pro-choice monster inside me has been awakened and now will not seem to rest.I'm writing because even though I've been super busy, I'm sitting here marveling at my own contentment...smug bastard that I apparently am. It all started when my mom called to talk to me about throwing a party for my 30th… -
Yay, Mommy Hate Mail!
9 Jan 2010 | 10:38 pm*Sigh*I'll never fully comprehend WHY mothers come barging into the CF blogosphere asserting their non-sensical, opposing viewpoints into conversations where they won't be welcomed, but alas, this is evidently a typical day in the life of an internet mommy troll.Funny how WE never troll THEIR blogs on a daily basis waiting to disagree with something they've written, but with us it's sadly commonplace to see this.Yesterday, a commenter named "HawkMom", who identified as a SAHM, talked about "going to a shelter" or trying "to get an apartment or hotel room and/or collect on welfare and WIC for… -
And Baby Makes...Mommy Unrecognizable.
5 Jan 2010 | 7:09 pmWell, it looks as if the woman formerly known as my BFF has been kidnapped by aliens and replaced with a suddenly naive, wannabe Stepford wife.I have to know if anyone else has experienced this but first let me tell the story.After this incident, we had a private conversation about her newfound desire to be a stay at home mother and wife. When she started off the conversation with "my ideals have just changed a lot and part of me wishes we could go back to the 50's where women stayed home and men worked", I knew I was entering an alternate fucking universe.The 50's?????What the shit?When… -
Dear Breeders At The Theater- Please Fucking Die.
15 Dec 2009 | 4:45 pmI guess I shouldn't continue to be surprised or appalled at entitled, inconsiderate, self-absorbed breeders who insist upon hauling their children to ADULT intended venues but dammit, I just cannot NOT be appalled.Recently, me and a group of my girlfriends decided to take in a 10pm screening of an R rated film...Again I don't know WHY I allow myself to be shocked at the ignorant actions of breeders anymore, but honestly you could have knocked me over with a feather when a couple with TWO strollers sauntered into that movie theater and plopped their asses down into the front row of seats.The… -
More of My Pro-Choice Rantings
9 Dec 2009 | 10:43 pmFollowing up on the last post, I wanted to talk more about the tactics of some of the protesters who frequent the clinic because I think it's important to be aware of the lengths these people will go to shame, race bait, deceive, and invade the privacy of PP's patients.I do very much believe that just their presence alone is invading the privacy of the women who visit our clinic. They are there to invoke shame and guilt for something that is no one's business but that of the woman herself.So yes, I do think it's a gross invasion of privacy and while I have no problem with "free speech", it…
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All News Articles
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I didn't realise I was so common
9 Feb 2010 | 2:31 pmhttp://uk.news.yahoo.com/...ristmas-eve-d831572.htmlI'm not a Christmas Eve baby but:"October 16 is the third most popular date for giving birth, with 2,006 deliveries."I was also upset to find that 3 people I share Oct 16 with are the Jedward twats and Davina "The babymaker" McCall. I'm gutted!!!BV 2 allStedders1975 -
Not out of the woods yet...
9 Feb 2010 | 2:03 pmExperts fear women are ditching contraception in the mistaken belief that they cannot get pregnant past a certain age. While it is tempting to think you can't get knocked up beyond 35, it's not a good idea to throw caution to the winds. The Family Planning Association believes the message on infertility and age has gone too far. Although fertility does wane, women can still get pregnant well into their thirties, forties and even fifties - I knew about late thirties and early forties, but I didn't know it was possible to get knocked up even when you're in your fifties, unless you were in a… -
OMFG - warning bloated belly...
8 Feb 2010 | 8:16 pmhttp://uk.news.yahoo.com/21/20100208/thl-swollen-stomach-woman-s-baby-shock-d831572.html -
One born every minute.... CH4
8 Feb 2010 | 8:02 pmI think the title says it all... starts tomorrow... YAK! -
Should drug addicts be paid to be sterilised?
8 Feb 2010 | 6:02 pmA bit of a no-brainer really - and of course, it's not just hard core drug addicts this should apply to. The woman who runs this charity has the right idea and speaks from experience, having fostered several babies born to drug addicts. She has more knowledge and insight (not to mention real compassion) than the idiots who compare her to nazis. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8500285.stm
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Childfree Pet Parents
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7 Feb 2010 | 1:30 am
7 Feb 2010 | 1:30 amThis is my two babies. My bottle-fed kitten fell completely in love with my dog. And no, I don't normally let my already over-weight dog eat cat biscuits. ;-)Cutest video ever -
New Babies =]
6 Feb 2010 | 4:29 pmOk so I posted a while back with an introduction, with my pets. Then I had 2 dogs and 2 cats. Well just recently, as in, yesterday, I brought home two african fat tail geckos, and 3 fire belly toads. My friend had to move back home for some personal reasons and her mom said she could take her two snakes but couldn't take her toads or geckos so she gave them to me. Here are some pictures :Those are my toads, Fred, Hyde and Cleo.And that's Jasper, one of the geckos. Alice the other is in a sick tank right now because she dropped her tail when someone went into my friends room without… -
Bad news everyone
1 Feb 2010 | 2:07 pmMy kitty Osiris recently had a stroke or something and was having seizures. He lost the ability to use the left side of his body and he didn't respond to light. The vet said he was doing very poorly. I didn't want him to suffer any more but it hurts a lot right now. I decided to have him put to sleep. RIP Osiris 1999-2010. That's him in my icon by the way. -
FB Love
28 Jan 2010 | 3:58 amI don't know if anyone will care or not, but just in case, I started up a Facebook page called My Pets Are My Kids.I'm the first as far as I know. ^_^ Just thought I'd throw it out there. -
New :)
11 Jan 2010 | 9:49 pmI'm new :)Me (redhead) and my sister when we were little :) My 3 leged kitty and my dream pets <3 My baby Jasper:My Dream pets: Black pug :) Cute rats :) Cute chihuahua that I really want!!!!!And this is me (Missy) with a friends dog :) As you can see I LOVE Animals!
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CocoaChildfree
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Menopause and Duggar Mess
6 Feb 2010 | 7:40 pmLast week, I told my symptoms — insomnia, a creepy-crawling feeling on my skin, waking up sweaty in the middle of the night, a period that’s been missing for three months — to a nurse/midwife. She concluded that it was menopause. I had been waiting for that news since 1972. If I hadn’t been tired and suffering from a cold, I would done cartwheels out of the clinic. Ahh. . .the news every childfree woman wants to hear. The door is permanently closed to parenthood, and hopefully, there will be an end to annoying questions from others concerning having kids. It’s… -
What Is Seen
31 Jan 2010 | 9:14 pmWant to be annoyed? Sometime ago, I wrote in a post about a book that pushed the “be fruitful and multiply” idea. It was written by a woman who is associated with the Quiverful movement, a group of people who don’t believe in birth control largely for religious reasons. One of the main supporters of this movement is a guy named Doug Philips. He has a web site for his organization, Vision Forum (www.VisionForum.com). Vision Forum believes that men should run everything and women belong at home with hordes of kids. I got into an email debate with Philips a couple of years ago… -
The Okey-Doke
31 Jan 2010 | 8:33 pmThe most annoying teenager in church asked if he could stay for today’s annual business meeting. The former youth director and the pastor’s wife convinced him that it was a meeting for adults. “Hell, no, and go home,” I thought. A committee has been formed to choose a new youth director. I should be on it, but then, I could see a lot of people getting pissed off at my opinions. Whoever takes over that post has to not be afraid to step to the kids and call them out on their nonsense. No standing by and allowing kids to disrupt the Sunday service, no putting up with…
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Happily Childfree
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An Infertile Raped My Ear
5 Feb 2010 | 2:24 pmIs there anyone more annoying than infertiles? Okay, screaming, misbehaving kids in every public place we go these days are certainly more annoying. But infertiles are high up on the list of annoying people. I’ve never known anyone who whined more than infertiles! A couple of years ago someone pointed me to an infertile blogger for some reason. I subscribed to the RSS feed and occasionally read her posts. She sounded fairly intelligent (which is more than I can say about most infertile bloggers) but she is an eternal whiner. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t whine about! -
Happy Roe vs. Wade day!
22 Jan 2010 | 10:14 amThank goodness for 37 years of Choice! Here’s a repeat from two years ago, but for those of you who haven’t seen it, you might want to check it out. -
Facebook Inspired Rants
16 Jan 2010 | 2:14 pmThese rants are brought to you by STFU Parents and Facebook. First of all, some mommy whines that the waitstaff at restaurants call her baby a “half” when talking about how many needed at a table. (i.e. Mom and Dad plus baby equals 2.5) Funny how these mothers never have a problem paying half price for their kids, but suddenly half is an insult? Mommies in the thread even point out that their kids take up as much room and eat about as much and are just as loud (if not louder) than grown people. Good, glad they are admitting it. Let this be a lesson to you mommies then: you don’t… -
Dr Phil’s Childfree Segment
13 Jan 2010 | 7:06 pmSomeone alerted me that Dr. Phil was doing a show on the childfree today and that I needed to watch, so I taped it. I wasn’t sure I wanted to watch it, as Dr. Phil is almost as bad as Oprah for pandering to stay-at-home-mommydom, but I decided to risk it and made sure to have the barf bag handy. It wasn’t a great segment but it wasn’t terrible. It was a short, maybe 6-minute segment squished in the midst of telling other (un-related) stories and a series of in-show commercials for ABC primetime shows. (groan) The couple described themselves as “childless” rather… -
One of the Worst Bingos
8 Jan 2010 | 6:38 pmI’ve got a bingo! “So why don’t you have kids? Afraid of being a bad parent?” First of all, in my experience, it’s the people who were sure they’d make great parents, had no doubts, and went into parenting without even considering they might not be up to it who make the worst parents. People who have doubts are far more likely to make good parents. Thus, even if I was afraid of being a bad parent, that would be a good sign, not a bad one. What does it say about people who use this bingo, though? Do they really assume that if you don’t do something,…
